|Package Tracking Fail
||[Jan. 15th, 2011|02:33 am]
Aaron D. Bilodeau
It's amazing what constant access to information has done for us.|
I'm not going to dwell on it, but it is quite amazing.
Sometimes, however, it doesn't work quite as planned. Take my recent purchase, for example, made on January 10:
Today is Saturday, January 15. That means, according to this update, my package hasn't moved in two business days. However, in those first two days it accomplished some truly remarkable teats of travel. According to Google maps, my package has traveled approximately 3,365 miles in two days.
Here's a map of the travel route:
Note that I live in northwestern Indiana, about 350 miles from the origin point.
But never mind this. Let's look at the fact that, according to the tracking software, for those first two days my package traveled at an average speed of just over 120 miles per hour. All this without getting pulled over. Let's hear it for those delivery drivers.
But that's not even the most amazing part. After taking exactly 24 hours to get to from Nashville, TN to Hebron, KY (about 270 miles from Nashville), my package then raced back to its origin point in only 1 hour, 26 minutes and 36 seconds; a speed of just over 187 mph. Most commercial delivery trucks aren't even capable of this speed, so we must be dealing with some truly phenomenal drivers here.
But my delivery service isn't one to rest on their laurels. They then shipped my package from Nashville to Fort Lauderdale, a distance of 895 miles, in just over five hours, maintaining an average speed around 180 mph. That's not bad, but then, just to prove they could, they shipped my package to Saint Louis in 39 minutes flat.
That's 1846 mph.
That's 2.5 times the speed of sound.
These guys are fast.
Okay, so I forgot to account for the change in time zone. That adds an hour to the travel time, which comes out to be only slightly supersonic. But they next sent my package all the way back to Hebron at a now-stately 263 mph. By comparison, the return trip to St Louis was practically glacial at 100 mph. I don't know what happened. Perhaps there was a strike.
In addition to all this, my delivery service managed to not just send my package to all these places, but to deliver it three times in three different cities, not one of which is within 300 miles of my own. That's what I call thorough service.
When my package does ultimately arrive I will enthusiastically give this delivery service five stars. In eight different galaxies. Separated by billions of years.